Zhaba Zhournal
Monday, October 25, 2004 
She bangs, she bangs 
So, Ashlee "The Other Simpson" Simpson got caught red-handed (and red-faced) lip-synching on "Saturday Night Live"; it's really just ineffably amusing, and so much fun to have the Internet abuzz over something not related to politics. (I love the title of the Chicago Sun-Times article: Ashlee Simpson flees after talent malfunction on 'SNL'. Bwa-ha-ha!)

It's not quite Milli Vanilli redux—she was at least lip-synching to her own voice—but it's the worst kind of publicity for an aspiring performer (rejected words: "singer," "recording artist") promoting her first album, especially when she already faces snake-belly-low expectations. And if you are going to lip-synch, couldn't you at least try to make your voice sound better on the recording? One thing you gotta say for Jessica "The Original Simpson" Simpson: the girl has pipes. Her voice can raise the roof, and usually not in a bad way. Same thing with Christina Aguilera: in all her incarnations, from sweet to skank to retro-starlet, she's got the vocal power to back up the recording contracts she keeps getting. She might even grow into a better Madonna replacement than that desperate Madonna wannabe Mrs. Federline. (Not that we really need another Madonna, but there's an ecological niche for a sexed-up female pop singer who can still look good in a bustier when she's 40, and reedy-voiced Mrs. Federline it ain't gonna be.)

P.S. Ashlee, honey, blaming your band is not cool. They didn't start playing the wrong song; whoever pushes the buttons pushed the wrong prerecorded-vocals button, and if you want to blame anyone, blame a) that person and b) yourself for having a frippin' prerecorded vocal track. But lay off the band, okay? They're musicians, they're professionals, they're well-trained and hard-working, and none of those applies to you. So shut up; you're used to not using your voice, aren't you?

Update: Is there a video? Of course there's a video. From CNN.com, via Bonnie: She Bolts, She Bolts; or, The Walk of Shame.

Updated Update: The CNN.com video requires registration; here's a link to the free, non-subscription-requiring iFilm Simpson Snafu page. And while I was getting that, Kurt of b4yp posted a comment with a link to the also-free eBaum's World Ashlee Simpson Screw-up page. (This is going around the Internet almost as fast as the Jon Stewart Crossfire interview—hey, wouldn't it be great if we found out that Tucker Carlson was lip-synching his talk show?)

[ at 4:35 PM • by Abby • permalink  ]

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