Zhaba Zhournal
Tuesday, June 24, 2003 
The next level of body modification 
Piercings, tattoos, even tongue-splitting—from this moment on, it's all passé. I have personally selected the next body-modification craze: decorative parasites.

It started, as so many of my workday thoughts do, with the medical book I'm working on. For "Tick paralysis," the recommended therapy was "Remove tick." To which I thought, Well, duh. But then I thought, Well, what if they didn't?

Well, that would be gross.

Yeah, but is it any grosser than those whacked-out piercings?

And an idea was born.

Yes, get yourself some ticks and paint them interesting colors. Put little decals on their backs. Carefully arrange them in patterns. Apply tropical leeches in strategic locations.

Of course, the various critters will fall off when they're done feeding, and eventually die, but you can carry around a little critter-sack so you always have more on hand. (A nice bottle of Evian would be perfect for leeches.)

Come on...you know you wanna.

This idea is copyright © ® TM etc. 2003 Zhaba Productions, and I fully expect the profits to start rolling in as soon as I bring out my line of color-coordinated vermin. My tentative name for my new business: Bite Me. If it works out, I can develop a home decorating line featuring costumed cockroaches. Slogan: "If you're gonna have pests, they might as well be dressed."

Where's a venture capitalist when you need one?

[ at 4:20 PM • by Abby • permalink  ]




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